Hate is a complex emotion. It is not natural but built. It is grown, given attention to, nurtured, and given the intention to. It is so complex that after its formation, concrete steps have to be taken to eliminate or resolve it. However, the first step is the consciousness and the acceptance that hate inside needs to be resolved. How does one come to see, in the first place, that he/she carries hatred?
Some people already know and are pretty vocal about their negative emotions towards somebody. Whereas others foster these feelings inside, keep acting on it without the awareness of its existence and this toxic cycle goes on and on. Honestly, when it comes to the resolution of hate, the former type of people are more successful because they are aware and they can thus be helped further. Their first step is already complete. However, the latter live in denial and make it difficult for the process of resolution to take place.
One very important component is also the realization that hate needs to be removed. It is common for people to have feelings of hatred and yet not wanting to do anything about it, because it’s hard to change a pattern that took years to build. Hate is negative – not only for the object of hatred but also for the person hating. It poisons one’s thinking, mindset, mentality, well-being, and the state of spiritual happiness. It is bitter and it is necessary to keep a check on such feelings.The first constructive step of this much-needed process is paying attention to the presence of hatred or spite in you. Looking out for any such negative feedback, state of mind, and bitter emotions towards something or someone.
Next comes the root cause or the source of such feelings of hate. Once you’re aware of the presence of such feelings, it is vital to try to find the source of these. Explore issues that cause you to feel this way. They may be obvious, or they may be deeply buried under the psychic radar. Therefore, it is necessary to introspect and explore within. Finding the root of hate is important as it helps to find the reasons as to why those feelings might be conceived in our minds. It isn’t always about what the person is doing to instigate hatred in you, but also about what’s inside you that gets triggered to produce hatred towards the subject.
Further, comes controlling actions that come off as reactions to hatred. It’s important to learn to control actions that may hurt someone. Hate can take wild steps, therefore it is important to learn to be physically, mentally, and socially safe. Next comes empathy, which is generally extremely hard to practice but equally meaningful. Till you do not try to picture why a certain person does what he does, and put yourself in his/her shoes and try to imagine how they are only human, you cannot see them as anything other than what you dislike about them. It is crucial to view them as human. Eventually, when you see the bigger picture, it helps you in forgiving or even simply, just letting go. Consider engaging in an intentional act of kindness towards the person you hate, it will do wonders to your well-being!
We should remember, if this hate occupies your mind, or interferes with your daily activities, or disturbs you psychologically so much so that it hinders your growth and gets out of your control, it is always okay to seek help. You may talk to your loved ones about it, write in a journal, or consult a professional. Don’t hesitate to go for counseling. Hate is very common and it is nothing but an achievement if you recognize its tracks and treat it with knowledge. It can be treated effectively only if you have a holistic approach towards it. Moreover, the resolution of hate is good for one’s overall well being.